Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Perfect Three


In this spot yesterday, I talked about getting involved in both Monday Night Football events. I did, in a big way.

My Executive Selections were:
  • Two units Baltimore +1 Winner
  • Two units Kansas City +4 Winner
  • One unit Kansas City under 46 points Winner 
Three Executive Selections. Three Winners to close out the week. How about that?

When you're ready to get aboard, just click on that very gentle "Buy Now" button to the right. I'll be very happy to work hard for you through the Superbowl for just $695.
And now the sports news you won't get at ESPN.

High School Coach Ran Prostitution Ring

Acting on a tip about a prostitution ring operating in the 3500 block of Ninevah Road in Greenwich, deputies went to that address on Sept. 1 and arrested Douglas E. Lucas, 53, Huron County Sheriff’s Capt. Ted Patrick said.

With a search warrant, they also seized items used in sexual role-playing, such as neckties, ropes and dog accessories.

At least one 47-year-old woman was allegedly working as a prostitute in Lucas’ home at the time, though she hasn’t been charged.

Lucas faces a fourth-degree felony for solicitation. He was released from jail after posting bond the day after his arrest.


Following Lucas’ arrest, however, deputies launched an undercover investigation targeting similar prostitution activity in the area.

[But wait, there's more! - back to the story...]  Their efforts yielded two more arrests.

Lorain County Joint Vocational School teacher Todd Allen Pooch, 36, of the 500 block of Liberty Drive in Huron, and John Christopher Kemper, 52, a mechanical engineer from Brunswick, were each charged with soliciting, a third-degree misdemeanor.

They were among dozens who responded to requests from an undercover agent posing as a prostitute on the same website Lucas used, officials said.

Patrick said the two men made appointments to meet with the prostitute at a Norwalk hotel, requesting sexual acts using props such as a dog cage, bowl and collar, as well as masking tape, whips and a rubber ruler.

“This case shocks the conscience,” Patrick said. “It’s very unusual and twisted.”

The entire investigation, which took about a week and a half, was led by child support enforcement officer John Harris, who was temporarily reassigned from his duties.

The actual sting operation at the hotel only lasted about four hours. Pooch arrived at the hotel first, Patrick said, while Kemper arrived about an hour and a half later. Kemper actually checked the room for hidden microphones or surveillance cameras, Patrick said.

During their appointments, Pooch and Kemper paid the undercover woman an undisclosed fee and discussed various role-playing scenarios.

One of the men requested to be placed in the dog cage, while the other was already handcuffed, blindfolded and tied up by the time Huron County Sheriff Dane Howard and deputies entered the room to arrest them.

Pooch and Kemper have no apparent criminal history, and Lucas’ only charge in the area was passing a bad check in 2003, according to police records.

While the criminal cases against the men are pending, Pooch has already been placed on paid administrative leave at Lorain County Joint Vocational School. He served as the head football coach at Firelands High School in Oberlin and taught classes at both schools.
~ Sandusky Register.

You bet that I have the mugshots of the Three Amigos!

There you have it. An Ohio high school football coach was busted in a prostitution ring. Todd Allen Pooch, 36, of the 500 block of Liberty Drive in Huron was one of three men arrested for running a sadomasochistic fetish parlor. Jeez, that’s the government for you. Always hurting small businesses.  At least I did not go for the obvious joke about a Pooch and a dog cage.

Oh come on. Who among us hasn’t been anally penetrated with a whip handle while having a tennis ball strapped into his mouth? That sort of Puritan prudishness might fly in Huron County, but I’ll have no part of that, thank you very much. I’ll be spending time with my good lady in a way that I see fit…just as soon as I get back from the hardware store.

[Channeling CSI Miami's Horatio Caine], "Looks like somebody really…*removes sunglasses* ...Screwed the Pooch".
YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!



Here's your Jim Carrey moment.